There was a time

There was a time
when I did not feel
compelled
to accept every moment
of every day
as a precious gift,
to wander shorelines
streets
wilderness
landscapes of
happiness, depths of despair
confusion
joy emptiness hope calm
with utmost awareness
to bring everything within
as much as anything
is within
in order to share it out
whenever possible
as much as there is
possibility.
There was a time
when I did not have
daily cravings
for giving up
my sense of self
to the smell of seaweed
to the sound of ebbing tides
to the feel of wind on my face
cold warmth pain sense of loss
sense of being lost or being found
or finding my way or losing my way
or to complete and utter
immobility transfixed on beauty
of the simplest things
to memories of smiles
giggles
laughs
and sometimes
just easeful nothings,
a glance away,
a glance my way,
a rustling of the urge
to explore
out beyond everything
I myself would ever
be able to imagine
like the slightest of spring
breezes
whose destination
absolutely no one knows
a complete forgetting
of me
as I believed that
there was an inner belief
that
it could be because
I would always be there.
There was a time
when I did not have children.